What If We Self-Improved for Others?
Changing yourself should feel generous, not forced
Self-improvement is centered around the self. It’s in the word. How can I run faster? How can I make more money? How can I look more attractive?
These questions can quickly become all-consuming. We might miss asking a more important one for each change: What is it for? Why am I doing this? Will it really make me better? Or just different? Is this an act of generosity or one of compensation?
Sometimes, it’s absolutely right to prioritize yourself. Losing 20 lbs is generous when you’re overweight. Your heart will thank you, but so will everyone else. You’ll be nicer around them. You’ll feel better in your skin.
But do you really need 8% body fat? Do you really need perfect abs? Or are you overshooting? Did you cross the finish line and forgot to stop running? Where is your gift now? How does it contribute to those around you?
The price of self-improvement is isolation. Constant observations lead to a comparison spiral, you-vs-them judgements accumulate, and, soon, you realize: You’re the best, but you’re alone. External rewards are hard to enjoy without sharing. If you can’t buy your parents a house, what good are $5 million? If no one gently touches your abs, who did you get them for?
