Well, if we all had our own little definitions of success and lived only by those, there wouldn’t be so much comparing in the first place.
And sure, that’s part of the problem. We accept society’s standardized measures of success: fame, money, etc. In some communities, like self-improvement, it’s thinking, habits, etc. But then we stop redefining to find our own and just go for the most power we can get in that framework we settled into.
I wish I could say most people were trying to define success for themselves, but I don’t think that’s the case. Most never ask the question — but we really should!