How To Thoroughly Screw Up Your Life

When I was 9, we were at a lake. There were ducks walking around.

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Life Is Full Of Ducks

  • When you’re 6, put down your imaginary Superman cape, because otherwise, you’ll never be a big boy.
  • When you’re 10, get a pair of Jordan’s, because otherwise, you won’t be cool.
  • When you’re 15, ditch your best friend for the hot guy, because otherwise, you’ll never make prom queen.
  • When you’re 18, make it into a good school, because otherwise, you’ll be a black sheep.
  • When you’re 21, stay close to home, because otherwise, you’ll lose your friends.
  • When you’re 25, pick the stable job, because otherwise, you’ll never be able to start a family.
  • When you’re 29, get married fast, because otherwise, you’ll be too old.

Choosing To Choose

There’s only one thing these ducks are pushing you towards: Making the big choices in life on a whim and spending the rest of it obsessing over trivialities. If you let it, life will back you into a corner you can’t get out of. Until you fall over. That’s what happens when you keep feeding the ducks.

The more things you do because of what you’ll be if you don’t, the less you’ll like who you are when it’s too late.

You might check all of society’s boxes, but none of your own. You’ll only scrape your elbow. To quote John Lennon:

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